What is your idea of showing up for yourself? What comes to mind when you hear “Show up for yourself “?
A lot of us hear these statements. We hear about self-love, self-care, etc. Yet a lot of us do not seek the time to really live this narrative. I for one was a culprit too. Because, well, we don’t have the time, right? Between building a career, business, or side hustle, being a wife, studying, being a mother, serving my local church, where is the time to study the benefits of showing up for myself?
Well, I eventually did after years of self-neglect, and I am here to share with you why it is important to show up for yourself.
When I got married, for over 12 years into my marriage, my focus was on taking care of my family. Ensuring everyone was well fed and clothed. Between my odd jobs then and studies, I never saw any time neither the need to consider putting my needs as a priority. In fact, my husband, kids and the household maintenance took center stage.
As time passed, I had totally lost control of focusing on myself. I neglected even the very basics, which were: my health and well-being, my hobbies and talents, my finances, and the need to save up, my spiritual life also took a back seat. I was not as active in church activities as I used to. I was comfortable with bare minimum of attending church on Sunday and prayer in the morning and in the evening.
During this phase of self-neglect, I became overweight, and this led to many health complications, such as, constant headaches, back and ankle pains, gastrointestinal problems, severe sinusitis reactions and constant colds and flu. I had to be on several medications to help me feel better. I was always out of energy, ever tired and this affected my mood and performance at work. As my mood and energy was affected, I became a nagging wife and mother and eventually this negatively affected my marriage as well as the relationship with my children. To add to this, since I was always tired, I cut off many relationships as well.
The Bible instructs us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. It is important to note that loving others flows from what we have from within ourselves. You cannot pour from an empty jar. Therefore, it is time you learn to understand that you deserve the love that you so freely give to others. This is not selfish; it is an essential part of loving others.
Showing up for yourself is a statement used to explain concerted efforts directed towards showing yourself the highest form of TLC (Tender, love & care).
While showing up for yourself has many forms, which include showing up for your yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially. We shall dwell in each category elaborately in our upcoming blogs.
Showing up for yourself first and foremost means being gracious and merciful towards yourself. It means being conscious of taking out time to love, care, respect, be compassionate and just honor your needs.
Showing up for yourself does not just happen automatically, you have to create time and set activities and develop routines and be deliberate about showing up.
Some perspectives to consider when choosing to show up for yourself:
- Identifying Your Needs and Goals: The foundation of showing up for yourself lies in the ability to recognize your needs and set meaningful goals for yourself. This involves introspection and understanding what truly matters to you.
- Prioritizing Your Needs: Not all needs and goals are created equal. Once you’ve identified them, the next step is to prioritize. Determine which aspects are most crucial for your well-being and growth and allocate your time and energy accordingly.
- Meeting Your Needs: Deliberate action is key. When you’ve pinpointed your needs, it’s imperative to take intentional steps to fulfill them. This could involve setting boundaries, seeking opportunities for personal growth, or addressing your physical and mental well-being.
- Striving for Goals: Goals are the roadmap to personal growth. By showing up for yourself and dedicating effort toward your goals, you’re actively contributing to your development and advancement, whether in your career, relationships, or self-improvement.
- Overcoming Challenges: Life is rarely a smooth path, and challenges are inevitable. When you encounter obstacles, it’s crucial to maintain your commitment to showing up for yourself. Use setbacks as opportunities to learn and adapt, rather than reasons to give up.
- Creating Lasting Habits: Consistency is key to personal growth. Make showing up for yourself a habit. Just like you schedule meetings and appointments, schedule time for self-care, goal pursuit, and self-reflection.
- Embracing Progress, Not Perfection: Showing up for yourself is about progress, not instant perfection. Celebrate every step you take towards meeting your needs and achieving your goals, regardless of how small it might seem.
If you’re interested in becoming someone who actively supports their own well-being, you might find value in exploring the following voluntary activity:
A Self-Care Reflection:
You will need a notebook and a pen. Settle into a calm environment where you can reflect without distractions.
- Would you say you have been gracious and merciful to yourself?
- What are your needs as an individual? Jot down a list of these needs in your notebook. Be honest and comprehensive.
- Have you been meeting those needs? Go through each need and mark “yes” or “no” based on whether you’ve been meeting it.
- What must you do to meet those needs that you haven’t been meeting? List the changes required to address these needs.
Engaging in this activity will set you on a path of self-discovery and personal growth. Keep in mind that consistently showing up for yourself is a continuous journey that contributes to a life of balance and fulfillment. Consider that when you prioritize your own well-being, it sends a message to the world about the value you place on yourself.
~Lunge Uaseuapuani
