Vanessa Gold

What is your idea of showing up for yourself? What comes to mind when you hear “Show up for yourself “? A lot of us hear these statements. We hear about self-love, self-care, etc. Yet a lot of us do not seek the time to really live this narrative. I for one was a culprit too. Because, well, we don’t have the time, right? Between building a career, business, or side hustle, being a wife, studying, being a mother, serving my local church, where is the time to study the benefits of showing up for myself? Well, I eventually did after years of self-neglect, and I am here to share with you why it is important to show up for yourself. When I got married, for over 12 years into my marriage, my focus was on taking care of my family. Ensuring everyone was well fed and clothed. Between my odd jobs then and studies, I never saw any time neither the need to consider putting my needs as a priority. In fact, my husband, kids and the household maintenance took center stage. As time passed, I had totally lost control of focusing on myself. I neglected even the very basics, which were: my health and well-being, my hobbies and talents, my finances, and the need to save up, my spiritual life also took a back seat. I was not as active in church activities as I used to. I was comfortable with bare minimum of attending church on Sunday and prayer in the morning and in the evening. During this phase of self-neglect, I became overweight, and this led to many health complications, such as, constant headaches, back and ankle pains, gastrointestinal problems, severe sinusitis reactions and constant colds and flu. I had to be on several medications to help me feel better. I was always out of energy, ever tired and this affected my mood and performance at work. As my mood and energy was affected, I became a nagging wife and mother and eventually this negatively affected my marriage as well as the relationship with my children. To add to this, since I was always tired, I cut off many relationships as well. The Bible instructs us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. It is important to note that loving others flows from what we have from within ourselves. You cannot pour from an empty jar. Therefore, it is time you learn to understand that you deserve the love that you so freely give to others. This is not selfish; it is an essential part of loving others. Showing up for yourself is a statement used to explain concerted efforts directed towards showing yourself the highest form of TLC (Tender, love & care). While showing up for yourself has many forms, which include showing up for your yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially. We shall dwell in each category elaborately in our upcoming blogs. Showing up for yourself first and foremost means being gracious and merciful towards yourself. It means being conscious of taking out time to love, care, respect, be compassionate and just honor your needs. Showing up for yourself does not just happen automatically, you have to create time and set activities and develop routines and be deliberate about showing up. Some perspectives to consider when choosing to show up for yourself: Identifying Your Needs and Goals: The foundation of showing up for yourself lies in the ability to recognize your needs and set meaningful goals for yourself. This involves introspection and understanding what truly matters to you. Prioritizing Your Needs: Not all needs and goals are created equal. Once you’ve identified them, the next step is to prioritize. Determine which aspects are most crucial for your well-being and growth and allocate your time and energy accordingly. Meeting Your Needs: Deliberate action is key. When you’ve pinpointed your needs, it’s imperative to take intentional steps to fulfill them. This could involve setting boundaries, seeking opportunities for personal growth, or addressing your physical and mental well-being. Striving for Goals: Goals are the roadmap to personal growth. By showing up for yourself and dedicating effort toward your goals, you’re actively contributing to your development and advancement, whether in your career, relationships, or self-improvement. Overcoming Challenges: Life is rarely a smooth path, and challenges are inevitable. When you encounter obstacles, it’s crucial to maintain your commitment to showing up for yourself. Use setbacks as opportunities to learn and adapt, rather than reasons to give up. Creating Lasting Habits: Consistency is key to personal growth. Make showing up for yourself a habit. Just like you schedule meetings and appointments, schedule time for self-care, goal pursuit, and self-reflection. Embracing Progress, Not Perfection: Showing up for yourself is about progress, not instant perfection. Celebrate every step you take towards meeting your needs and achieving your goals, regardless of how small it might seem. If you’re interested in becoming someone who actively supports their own well-being, you might find value in exploring the following voluntary activity: A Self-Care Reflection: You will need a notebook and a pen. Settle into a calm environment where you can reflect without distractions. Would you say you have been gracious and merciful to yourself? What are your needs as an individual? Jot down a list of these needs in your notebook. Be honest and comprehensive. Have you been meeting those needs? Go through each need and mark “yes” or “no” based on whether you’ve been meeting it. What must you do to meet those needs that you haven’t been meeting? List the changes required to address these needs. Engaging in this activity will set you on a path of self-discovery and personal growth. Keep in mind that consistently showing up for yourself is a continuous journey that contributes to a life of balance and fulfillment. Consider that when you prioritize your own well-being, it sends a message to the world about the value you place on yourself. ~Lunge Uaseuapuani  

I believe we can collectively acknowledge that life is inevitably woven with seasons of trials. These seasons are what amplify the value of our seasons of ease. Suffering is an inescapable element of existence, with various forms of trials that demand our endurance. While unpleasant, suffering often holds profound significance. After deep reflection and personal experiences with hardship, I have gained a profound understanding of the nature of suffering. In this post, I am eager to share uplifting perspectives that have empowered me to rise above pessimism and bitterness that often accompany difficult times. These perspectives helped me to suffer well and discover a renewed sense of hope and purpose. Impermanence of Suffering: It’s important to hold onto hope, for suffering is not a permanent state. Just as nothing in life remains static forever, suffering too has its seasons. This impermanence serves as a reminder that brighter days lie ahead. A State of Vulnerability: Amid challenges, it’s vital to recognize our susceptibility to potential harm or attack. While positive vulnerability exists, it’s not our focus here. I’m referring to the vulnerability arising from suffering or change that leaves us wounded. Suffering seasons can leave us emotionally drained and less guarded. Our clarity often falters, hindering judgments rooted in truth. Our perceptions become tinted by emotion, amplifying pain, and thus intensifying the pursuit of relief from suffering. This has led me to realize that in times of suffering, it’s wise to slow down, embrace rest, and trust in the unfolding process. The Power of Attitude: Our attitude in the face of suffering shapes our journey through it. Adopting an attitude of gratitude and joy serves as an anchor when everything seems unbearable. Learning to give thanks even during suffering. Express gratitude for what we still possess – be it our loved ones, daily sustenance, our abilities, the strength to endure, and the grace that guides us – while holding hope for what’s currently lacking. This sense of gratitude shields us from worry and nurtures an inner wellspring of joy that is not circumstantial. Focus on the God: Amid every challenge, our focus should steadfastly rest on our faith in God. Instead of getting caught up in the difficulties and urgently searching for an exit, let’s anchor our minds on God and His guiding wisdom. When our inquiries aren’t met with the responses we anticipated, rather than hastily turning to judgment and anxiety, we can find solace in God by maintaining our trust in His boundless grace. Ultimately, the resolution of matters in our lives isn’t solely within our control; however, our responsibility lies in unwavering faith in God, regardless of the circumstances. As we journey through any challenging season, we simultaneously encounter chances for growth, gratitude, and transformation. So, if you’re currently enduring a season of suffering or if the next one is lurking around the corner – as it often does – recall the perspectives I’ve shared. Keep in mind that, like rain nurturing blossoms, the trials we confront can also bring about unforeseen moments of beauty. Let this knowledge guide you with hope, knowing that even in the toughest times, there’s potential for something beautiful to emerge.

  I vividly remember the winter holiday of 2009. I was a final year student doing Accounting and my connect group leader recommended that I do a leadership course at the African Leadership Institute here in Namibia. I was very excited and driven to do the course after I received a call that I got accepted. Between the phone call and classes starting, I got mugged and lost my phone. I had no way of communicating with the institute and vice versa. We were instructed in the initial call that there will be a bus coming to get us on a certain date but I had no knowledge of where and when because this information was communicated during a follow-up call.  On the day we were supposed to leave, I packed and got a taxi to the institute, which was about 70 km from Windhoek. Everyone was shocked and impressed that I had made it out there on my own and as I narrated to them the events leading up to me hustling for transport, I realized that there must be something amazing for me there and I was right. On the second last date of our course, we received a book called The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. It was at the African Leadership Institute that I first learnt about purpose. In 2009 my statement on purpose was “to disciple and impact young people in Africa”. Ever since then, I have consciously been learning to understand what I was made for. I’ve come to truly know that my purpose is found in God because He created me and that my gifts, calling, function and responsibilities are to impact the earth for the sake of the kingdom. I served as a campus minister for 4 years and I was exposed to students from different countries. I did local missions and a course in campus ministry to grow in my purpose before moving on to pastoral ministry for another 4 years. In the quest to understand my purpose more, I did a course in counselling which helped me understand how people think and how their behavior impacts their surroundings. My ultimate goal was to study Anthropology for obvious reasons. After I left the full-time ministry in 2018, I felt hopeful to explore new things with God, and focus on raising my kids and running a small business but my heart had a lingering question: what was I doing with my life? I spent most of my time at home which was a contrast to my busy life in ministry. For the first few months, I felt useless and purposeless because I was not doing what I was used to. Instead of meeting people for coffee, I was caught up in laundry and washing dishes. I knew with confidence God was redirecting me but I felt a sense of loss and in an attempt to feel useful, I started applying for jobs so I can be in an environment where I was impacting and discipling people. I forced coffees and conversations just to feel some form of normalcy. All my attempts fell short and I had to be quiet day after day in God’s presence to listen to Him redefine purpose for me.  I understood that my purpose was from function and when what I had defined as “function” for my purpose was removed, I panicked. Purpose is the reason for our existence. A function is a very crucial element of our existence but it is not the primary reason for our existence. We hear people say “I was put on this earth to do this or that”. Many believers will tell you that the primary existence of humanity is to worship God, to do something for/with God. While this is true to a certain extent, the bible doesn’t say this explicitly. We should worship God yes but the core of our purpose is found in God’s original intent for humanity. In Ephesians 1:4-5 GNT it says “Even before the world was made, God had already chosen us to be his through our union with Christ, so that we would be holy and without fault before him. Because of his love God had already decided that through Jesus Christ he would make us his children—this was his pleasure and purpose.” In fact, the whole of Ephesians 1 speaks of God’s plan. Jesus’ purpose was not abstract, He was born and He died because it was the Father’s purpose. In John 3:34 Jesus explains this reality “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work.” Jesus continually had to speak about who He was, whose He was and why He was on earth. Our purpose then is weaved into the fabric of God’s marvelous plan. Our existence was birthed from love and it gave us an opportunity to become children of God who exist not just for the earth but who also exist for heavenly purposes in accordance with God’s plan. The Father’s plan was that we would have dual citizenship (alive on earth and seated with Christ ruling in the heavenly realms), not only created in His image but also born of His own will through the Word (James 1:18 & 1 Peter 1:23). God’s plan was already in motion even before the earth existed and even before sin came into the world. It was not bound by space or time. Looking back at the events that shaped my understanding of purpose, the above reality and truth has changed my perspective and have given me a newfound appreciation for my existence. Praise be to God for a fulfilling purpose-driven life here on earth and beyond. May you live out your purpose and not just function in it, Annete Ndjadila

These days, I’m learning so much about energy, stamina, seasons, flows, cycles, and how they relate to creativity, production, and output. As I cycle through what is required from me in order to fulfill my purpose and at the same time manage the realities of life – I have come to realize that our soul, spirit, and body need continuous preparation and rest to manage the changes in the seasons of life. Isn’t it amazing how we think we have so much time in a particular season of life that we get too comfortable and not do what we need to do in that season? I was at home for little over a year as I had just gotten married and relocated to a different continent and this was a brand new season in my life. During the time I was home – I was so focused to get a job and continue with the corporate lifestyle I was used but all that didn’t work and I was down in my spirit because I wasn’t sensitive enough to embrace the season I entered. We shouldn’t be in hurry to get out of the season we are experiencing without fully going through the process that we are supposed to learn in that particular season. If you are a student enjoy being one, if you are single do the needed inner work, if don’t have a family yet enjoy the flexibility that comes with it – Just do life without the pressure of the next. With that in mind I want to share with you the lessons I have learned in the interesting season that ended: No season is permanent Maybe you are going through some rough patches or everything is working together as desired just know this reality of life – nothing is permanent! Some of us love summer but it can’t be summer all year long right? Embrace every season you are in – it will change! There’s always a transition Just like spring gives way to summer or autumn to winter so is it, in reality, there’s always a transition between where you are now and where you will be incapable of moments during this time it is important that you orientate yourself – take time to tie any loose ends, prepare your mind and get into a rhythm. I am currently working but just before I got the opportunity, I was doing a language course that was starting early morning and this help me a lot in getting rhythm now that I am working. Also, another discipline I had to learn two weeks before starting work was going to bed early and this helped me transition in this new season I am in currently. Listen to the inner child We can really thrive or wait well when we listen to our soul because some seasons are really tough and one of the lessons I learned is that when I feel overwhelmed and it fills like my world is spinning or I feel directionless is to just sit back and really listen to what my soul is desiring in the midst of it all. Everyone has an opinion on what we should do but the IMPORTANT question is what do you really want? Our souls are wounded because we put in all efforts to listen to our bodies or spirit but not our soul – we should pray that our souls are restored so that we can be whole. Be sensitive Consciousness is a central element in understanding where we are but we can only be conscious when we are sensitive to our spirit and the promptings from our surroundings. One of the things I have learned is to continually be sensitive to what the holy spirit is drawing my attention to by being still which enables me to hear the gentle whispers of the spirit and secondly I observe the changes that my surrounding is trying to communicate to me – just like the changing of the leaves in autumn signals the coming of the winter season so does many things in our life. Our bodies, emotions, energy, and stamina can tell us that there’s a change when we are sensitive enough – a few weeks ago I went to see the doctor because I couldn’t understand why my body was going through extreme fatigue and also why my concentration span so short was – just for the doctor to tell me usually in the last days of winter the weather change has an extreme toll on the body and the mind. Be effective One of my regrets in the season of being home was not completing what I had to do in that season because now I don’t have the time, grace, energy, flow of ideas, and inspiration and now I must complete the task that I had to do on the expense of the current season. We might get the time to do what we couldn’t but we might not have all other needed aspects like energy and inspiration. Don’t waste your energy and inspiration because they are equally important as your time. I love the word in Genesis 8:22 “While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer, and winter, day and night, shall not cease.” Seasons are part and parcel of life, God created them and that is how everything under the sun operates. Happy new season!

In the last blog, I was sharing about being conscious about Life’s fragility, and days after that I was checking in with myself and felt like I am so behind schedule with many things that I had planned and this drove me into a dark place where I was no longer present and started worrying about the future and the next season. The pressure I felt took me from a place of gratitude and consciousness to a place of depression and ungratefulness. How many times have the pressure of the next season, result, or achievement rob us from enjoying and doing what we need to do in the season we are – so that we are ready and without regrets when the next comes. Whenever I get overwhelmed by life and the feeling of not making the desired progress comes – I practice the following: Regaining focus – I give myself some grace in that moments of feeling overwhelmed and then I bring my focus back to the season I am in by asking myself where I am and usually this question helps me define many things like what am I supposed to be doing? What are the things I need to master in this season? What are the things I can’t control? What can I do while waiting? We get overwhelmed when we are distracted but laser focus brings better perspective and peace and the good thing is we can practice regaining our focus daily especially when it feels like we have thousand one hundred things to do. Trusting the creator – I take comfort in knowing that He who created me and numbered my days knows exactly the season I am in and whether it’s an uncomfortable or a season of long waiting I just trust that God will carry me through by giving me enough grace. The other day I went hiking with my husband and on the top of the mountain is an old ruined fortress – when we reached the top we spent time with some members of our family and baby Valentin who is almost 2 is very adventures and hinted that I take him around the fortress and as we were exploring we entered some routes that were difficult and we had to do some climbing or jumping from one side to another but for Valentin, he trusted that I will help him navigate in those difficult corners and many times I had to say “langsam , langsam Valentin” as he didn’t hold back but this experience made me realize the importance of trusting God and having a child-like faith because he knows even the very difficult seasons in our lives and can help us navigate or tell us “langsam, langsam” which translates slowly, slowly in German. God’s word gives me this assurance of trusting him as Acts 17:25 – 26 “He is the One who gives life and breath and everything to everyone. 26 He made from one blood all nations who live on the earth. He set the times and places where they should live.” He knows exactly where you are and he sees you because he is El Roi – God who sees me! Beloveds, you need to understand that no season is permanent including the ones that you feel you are on top of the mountain but finishing the season we are in well will determine our growth and readiness for the next season! Just like any parent entrusts their children with more responsibilities, benefits, and freedom on the basis of their growth and readiness so is life – LIFE happens on the basis of growth and readiness! Where are you? Find yourself and Embrace the season you are in!

It’s another year into the a way of life we are not used to, and there are still no effective solutions to the current global pain – you’re probably wondering what the future holds when there’s a deadly pestilence moving around, devouring our lives and livelihoods, and what one does do when the future looks hazy. I just want to reassure you that there is hope and that humanity will survive this plague – God made a promise not to wipe out humankind after the flood, of which Noah’s household was the remnant. Therefore, in the midst of this global pain, I can assure you that you are taking a step towards a hazy future. The last few days of 2021 were extremely foggy in the area where I live, and when I stepped outside for my morning run, I could almost see nothing. My first thoughts were that it might not be a good day to run, but since I was already prepared to run, I went ahead and did it. While on the route, I had this epiphany just as I ran my first 100 meters that you need perseverance to take the first 10 steps in the future that looks foggy, and when you do, you start to see that you can go forward and take the next steps until the fog disappears, and YES, the current fog has lasted far longer than a foggy morning, but this too shall pass. The Lord has been ministering to me about the dawn of a new era for the last few months because the world in which we were born no longer exists. Everything we knew is changing – the way we conduct church, business, and relationships is no longer the same. God is doing something new, and it has already begun; all we need to do now is perceive it and begin to move into it. God is not surprised by what is happening in the world; we simply need to be awaken in order to understand that the current global pain is the spirit’s womb contracting to bring forth the next industry leaders and kingdom ambassadors. We are at the start of a new era, at a critical juncture between what we knew and what we do not know. I would like to draw our attention to the most important aspect of your existence, which is your Purpose. Have you given any thought to how you see yourself or your company in this new era? How will you carry out your mission in an era unlike any other? Our purpose, you see, does not change with the seasons because it is a treasure deposited into an earthly vessel by God; it is only the avenues, platforms, and markets that change because they are controlled by world systems and algorithms. I am not just finding myself at the dawn of a new era but also in a new season in my life. Where I am no longer in the corporate world earning money or instead of back to back meetings now the schedule is around home keeping, writing, gardening, and networking with people who are on the similar journey as mine. Maybe you are also in a different season or perhaps you are also foreseeing the new era and wondering how you should navigate. The new era is unknown but we can figure it out together – you can do so by subscribing to my monthly letter and following me on all social media platforms to be informed about our very First online webinar dealing with how to re-strategize, emerge and navigate the foggy future. Progressive new year and I hope you found the needed rest and time for reflection.